The 1st day of April is also known as April Fool’s Day in many parts of the world. I never really liked the day…. I was never into the ‘fooling’ mode. The day was just an irritant to me. Eight years ago April 1st became something more to me, it became my anniversary. When you have been diagnosed with a life altering illness you suddenly have a new anniversary. April 1st, 2007 was the day my Asthma Doctor dialed my cell phone and told me that I had Churg Strauss Syndrome (CSS).
I was driving at the time…. I pulled over to the side of the road and listened. Weird thing is I searched my symptoms and the tests my doctor was running on the internet and realized this is what he was looking for a few days before. I already looked up what CSS was and what the outlook was. I knew deep down that I had this chronic, incurable illness even before the words were out of my Doctors mouth. He wanted me to come right into his office so we could discuss this diagnosis. He was so worried about me, I could hear it in his voice. I refused to come to his office, I refused to talk about it. I began running… I wanted to drive as far and as far as I could just to get away from this diagnosis. In 2007, the prognosis for CSS was not as good as it is today. The statistics out there were frightening and I wasn’t sure if I would see my kids graduate High School. I was scared and needed to run.
I have to say this running continued for many years into my diagnosis and even today I find myself needing to run at times. Eight years is a long to co-habitat with a chronic illness. I get tired of all the medical appointments and although I have learned acceptance and have had to adjust some of my hopes and dreams I know all things are possible but I may have to alter how I obtain those dreams. These last eight years has allowed me to learn, laugh and love. I appreciate life more and know how precious even the little things are.
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